Dienstag, 10. November 2015

Editing who we are until we fit in? | Quote by Charles de Lint. | My thoughts and experience.

“We’re so quick to cut away pieces of ourselves to suit a particular relationship, a job, a circle of friends, incessantly editing who we are until we fit in.“
– Charles de Lint


 I am thinking A LOT. Okay, may sound weird but what I mean is - I OVERthink a lot. I am that kind of person who would question every little thing that can be questioned. What would happen if I do or say that? What would happen if I don’t do or say that? What would that person think of me? Why would they think like that? Thinking about unrealistic scenes in your head that will probably never happen to you, or practising a conversation with someone you’ll probably never have....

Excessive thinking about a problem, while losing focus on the big picture. The result is an overly complicated analysis, and any solution coming out of this will also be complicated. And probably a fruitless waste of time (definition of overthinking)
As I read this quote by Charles de Lint it immediately got my thinking. I got inspired by it. It kind of got me thinking about “cutting away pieces of ourselves” - changing for someone or something “a relationship, a job, a circle of friends”, literally EDITING who we are “until we FIT IN”. There is so much truth behind those words. 

Let’s just think about social media (Instagram and Facebook). People nowadays are caught up in editing their photos for literally hours. For what? Likes? Being famous? Acceptance from strangers? Not only being caught up in editing, but being obsessed watching the likes and comments coming in, being disappointed for only getting 50 likes on one photo. Of course, there is the enthusiasm and love for photography and editing. Being creative. There is nothing wrong with that. But spending hours of your day investing in that kind of progress (editing,worrying, watching your phone non-stop)? As cheesy as it may sound – I don’t think it will make someone happy - longterm. 

I am not writing this post to mock or complain about people on social media (people who work with social media or people who spend a lot of time on social media) but to write about my personal thoughts on it and my experience with it. 

I LOVE taking pictures with my camera, my IPhone or my Polaroid. It has always been like that – beginning at the age of three where I’ve been confronted with filming and photography by my parents. The result: eighteen years of footage seeing myself growing up is absolutely amazing. So of course I kept going taking pictures and filming from time to time while growing up. It was one thing where I could be as creative as I wanted and I loved doing that. 

At the age of fifteen Netlog came up. The predecessor of Facebook. I think it was the first website where I put up photos of myself and my friends and getting likes and comments for it. It was exciting and funny but it never became an obsession for me. After “Netlog time” – I got into Facebook. It was and still is a great way to connect with friends, classmates and family. I remember spending a lot of time on Facebook and MSN to chat with my friends, but not to post pictures regularly and writing what I am doing. I’ve been a shy and quite person at the time – so maybe that’s why.  When I posted a picture I was worried about the reaction to it. Ridiculous. But kind of normal. I am so happy that my childhood and teenage years were not defined by the “world of social media”. Compared to NOW – where almost every thirteen year old girl and boy already has an IPhone or IPad, and is registered on Facebook, Instagram etc.  

Away from my storytelling and back to the quote by Charles de Lint. While being on those social media sites we get inspired without even noticing. Both – in a positive or a negative way. There is nothing wrong with getting inspired for doing more work, being more productive, be active and getting fit. As long as you stay true to your own self and don’t change your personality while being focused on your life online or an online life from another person because you think it all looks so perfect. Perfect body? Perfect style? Perfect boyfriend?  We are unconsciously comparing ourselves to others and we shouldn’t do that. We should really focus on ourselves, OUR personality, OUR friends, OUR live. 

The result of my “overthinking” on this topic would be trying to avoid checking my phone constantly, turning it off or on flight mode from time to time in order to focus on what’s happening in real life and not getting distracted by social media. 

Life is beautiful, so don’t miss it.  

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